Dating as a single mom hacks that can help
Admittedly, when I realized I was going to be raising my daughter alone I thought my dating life was over. I foresaw a future where I was single forever. Some of you may remember my initial post about this here. I thought no one would want to be with someone with so much baggage, and even if they did I lacked the time management skills necessary to juggle it all.
She’s six now and while it’s still a work in progress, it turned out to be quite the opposite. And it wasn’t a matter of one particular choice I made. More so, it was a cumulative of many choices that led to this person I am today in order to be an effective mother. Which brings me to point numero uno.
- We choose wisely. It is said that everything is a choice. When we say yes to one thing we are invariably saying no to something else. As a mom, time is of the essence hence I tend to be selective about how I allocate my time. Time is something we can’t get back once it’s gone and there isn’t a lot of it left over once my laundry list of responsibilities have been checked off. So if the person cannot respect my time from the jump, I dead it.
- We aren’t needy. I have that laundry list I mentioned above, a business to run and a child to tend to. I also have a self care regimen that lacks like a you-know-what these days. Which means I don’t have time to be needing your every thought to be on me. Although, I will admit this role does tend to attract the type of people that want a mommy and my advice is: RUN. But if your date is that whole person that can appreciate a whole and busy woman and not be threatened by it, then I encourage you to go for it.
- Remember the differences. It’s easy for me to blow off my childless friend’s and romantic interest’s feelings when they say they’re tired or complain about something in their life I wish I could do so easily. I mean don’t they know how tired I am and how much coordinating it would take to be able to do something so simple?! I have to remember they don’t get it. I need to have patience and compassion for the relationships that means something to me. And likewise, I need a partner and people in my life that are going to add to my life with companionship to balance out what is so utterly draining most times being both parents.
- We get to choose AGAIN. Whether you’re looking for a fling, the ring or just a dating thing, we can do what we wilt. We’ve been there and done that and the balls in our court to define our lives and our relationships however we want. Which has always been the case, but there’s something empowering about giving birth and preserving the species that makes it a little more bold in life.
With that, I have a feeling this stream is going to continue evolving as I do in the matter the dating with a mini me. And I intend to keep the posts flowing.
I’d love to hear from you and what your insights and experiences have been. Leave it in the comments below!