How have things been in your world? I started this off with “it’s been an intense month..” but then quickly erased it as in actuality the intensity has been hitting in varying flavors since the onset of Covid last year.
No, this isn’t going to be a post laced with the politics of all of that, we all know, or think we know, what they are at this point.
This post is a check in, an update, a hello.
While intense, it’s also been the most validating and rewarding month of my life, and I’m so emotional when I observe where I’m at in it all and yet I’m not quite sure where ‘there’ even is.
I’ll start by saying, I’ve been in the closet about something I’ve been doing throughout this Covid journey, throughout relocating to NYC in the middle of it all and throughout all the little and necessary choices and steps I’ve had to take along the way as a mother and business woman.
Which is why I’ve limited my posts on social media, email blasts, this blog and have held back on launching the online classes and course I created.
I needed to honor my healing and find my new center and the vibe that fuels these creative spaces.
Things we MUST do
There are those things in life that I know I MUST do before I die. And I mean this in the most literal since. It’s a calling and a knowing on deep levels, and what I was able to embark on during Covid was one of them.
It’s a continuation of something I started in 2007, a few years before I got pregnant with my daughter, and thought I’d only be able to do and complete once she went away to college.
But, as usual, the Universe had other plans.
The Back Story
Covid hit 6 months after the most traumatic period in my entire life and I was dark, in an ocean of grief and loss and could no longer hustle and grind my feelings away.
I’d lost my father, escaped a relationship with a high spectrum narcissist and lost our baby – all in the span of 5 days.
It’s in these places where the power of choice is so evident to me. It was like “perish in the pain” or “get into action and heal Kris!”. There was no in-between.
And so, in desperation while the world was at a halt, I chose the latter and went back to that thing I must do before I die.
When the student is ready
Maybe you’ve been following me for a while and know this and maybe you don’t, but my spiritual world is the source of everything I do. It always has been.
Since I can remember at 2 and 3 years old, I’ve always been some kind of antenna for creativity and I knew I’d need to learn how to harness it with intention at some point in this life.
Pain as The Great Motivator
I began this path of unlearning in 2008, at The Omega Institute, freshly sober and seeking while seething with anger. A conundrum, I know.
Nevertheless, as an A/V tech for the season, my role was to record the varying workshops which rotated on a Mon-Fri and Fri-Sun schedule, and create the content. The thought leaders, healers and professionals facilitating these workshops always allowed me to also take them.
Meaning, I got to take approximately 14 workshops in the summer of 2008. Which equaled the cost of an undergrad degree!
Anywhere from meditation to yoga, Reiki and vortex healing to intuitive studies, flower and sound healing, tantra and past life regression, sacred geometry, shamanism and more.
I was gifted the opportunity to pick the brains of and cross paths with the likes of Michael Bernard Beckwith (who gave me book references to read and insight about dreams Jesus visited me in), Debbie Ford (shadow work), Brian Weiss (psychic studies), Eric Francis (Journalist and Astrologer), John Holland and more.
Unbeknownst to me at the time, I came out of that summer on a new level, having been educated by some of the most well known in the healing and self help worlds, and exposed and attuned to varying modalities and practices.
I say this not to boast, but to validate the cosmic set up that allowed me to choose the path I’m on now with clarity. A set up that chose me in spite of myself.
And while, at the time, I still had much work to do in the realm of sobriety and recovery to ground this knowledge and these experiences, it opened me up to the possibilities and gave me references for where to turn when I needed healing.
Bringing me to where I am today.
Healers need healing too
Most healers and shrinks, etc are as such because they have the experiences of trauma and the experiences of healing it to give to others (ideally).
My inner and outer worlds are literally unrecognizable to April of 2020.
This week my daughter turned 10, I wrapped a huge project, I graduated from an intuitive meditation and healing program and have stepped into the teacher training program.
Throughout the past year and a half, I’ve come to understand
- Why my makeup sessions with clients naturally get so deep so quickly and turn into friendship, connection and healing for everyone.
- How to create boundaries for myself and control the energies in my life.
- And from this space heal situations and others.
Most of all, I’ve come to appreciate shitty moments and seemingly shitty people.
Sometimes all that mess is a redirect on all levels and the pain is the push into action.@krisdelarenta
Putting this in writing isn’t easy for me. I’m stepping out of my comfort zone of protecting my sacred space and choosing to celebrate these numerous and HUGE WINS with this post.
This has pushed me deeper into my purpose and re-positioned me to a place on the planet to be of optimum service and I’m so eternally grateful for this healing and the readings and healings I can now do responsibility with others.
May all who are in alignment come forth..
See you soon star seeds…