Life as a single mom, artist, entrepreneur and spiritual being can be a lot to juggle at times. Ok, let’s get real — ALL THE FUCKING TIME. My hats off to those rocking even one of these roles and thankfully, I’m the type that thrives in chaos and would utterly perish in a nine to five cubicle.
That’s not meant to minimize or martyr, but simply to put into perspective.
Slave to the grind
That saying, I used to attempt to balance it all by focusing solely on the work and mom roles. For a long time, I wasn’t doing this consciously. My conditioning and reasoning were that if enough money was coming in I could then give my daughter and me a better life and be able to rest in comfort as I strived for more.
What this was doing however, was making my process and journey unsatisfying and stressful for all involved on the personal front. All I did was work and baby and work and baby and work and baby and bitch because I couldn’t figure out why no matter how hard I worked or how much I produced I wasn’t happy and I wasn’t seeing a rise in my bank account either.
Somewhere in being a slave to the grind, I was failing to see the value in time out to nourish my soul. My logic was that downtime equaled being a lazy ass which was and is the antithesis of my existence. If anything it’s hard for me to just chill and not feel guilty.
I suppose there was a bit of self-worth work in there as well with the false belief of “I don’t deserve to play and have fun until I reach my financial goals”.
Well, the Universe doesn’t work that way and enough was enough.
When the pain is great enough we change.
Being a makeup artist and business owner (with a side hustle as a model and actor) is a physically, mentally and spiritually taxing career at times. One that I love, but without the proper balance of downtime to recharge – whether that looks like doing something fun with my daughter, chilling at the beach, traveling, a hot bath, meditating, working out, yoga – the workaholic in me takes over and my inner child and soul get sad or mad — or both.
Sometimes doing contrary action is what’s necessary for balance. Sometimes I can have the best intentions and it still not be the best choice for me. Sometimes I need to put the to-do list and the bat down and go laugh with good people for a bit!
Learning how to intuitively gauge my needs and those of my daughter’s with my work demands is key. I’m definitely not perfect at it, but when I start to get restless I know something is off. The more I practice this the more obvious it is to me when something needs to shift.
I’ve found that the more my soul is balanced by using the tools I’ve discovered work for me, the more I call to me those things which are in alignment with my truth, mission, path (as a mom and artist) and purpose.
And when this is aligned, the money just flows.
Can you relate? Hit me up in the comments below!
P.S. Here’s an affirmation I love using:
Photo courtesy of @neilleephoto.