The Art Form of Asking for Help
Many of us find is challenging, and even impossible, to ask for help. People in supposed power have been taking advantage of the seemingly needy for centuries. Society has conditioned us to view needing help as a weakness. And who wants to be viewed as weak? Unless you’re the self-loathing, victimizing type.
Aside from the asking end of things, for some it’s even harder accepting help when it’s offered. This may be for fear of strings attached, that old-paradigm adage that states “nothing in life is free”, pride, all of the above, etc, etc, etc. The list goes on and on.
But when it comes from the right people with that ‘pay-it-forward’ motive, it truly is a gift.
I’m not professionally certified or licensed as any kind of therapist. My views have formed from my own life experiences and the spiritual path that has evolved from them. So though at one point my circumstances really sucked, currently they are an asset to who I am today. As most things in life that really suck inevitably come to be.
I grew up in a dynamic where needing help was considered a weakness. To take it to another level, that moment of vulnerability was then leveraged as a point-of-prey – as I call it. Meaning the people that offered help did so with strings attached. And I learned at a young age that whenever I showed that side of me that isn’t always strong (i.e. human), I got hurt.
Talk About WHACK Conditioning!
Sometimes the best place to start with what’s right is knowing what’s wrong. Over the years, I’ve come to learn and experience the art form of asking for help as a strength. Yet for me, it’s still not as easy as I’d like it to be. In all honesty, it’s impossible not to ask for help as a single parent. And somewhere deep down, I know that if I wasn’t walking the path as a single parent, I wouldn’t be writing this. Because I’d lack the growing pains I went through to find this space.
I can’t give you a solution for you. But for me, it took and continues to take practice. I happen to be the type that never grew out of magic, or dress-up. So I started with asking the Universe. After a time, this eventually lead to me trying it with people. For some, it will be the other way around. Or one or the other. Your path is your own.
Simply put, when my gut tells me no I listen. When it tells me yes, I listen. And when I make the wrong choice and fuck up, I listen. And don’t repeat.